ABHAY KHOSLA AND ALL THE DRAMA FROM YOUR BABY MAMA:Comic fans: should they drown in 'hobo piss?' This week, one Marvel Worldwide, Inc.
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(dba 'Marvel Comics') superstar answered, 'Yes.' Rick Remender ( Red Sonja: Vacant Shell) took to his twitterhorn to inform comic fans who didn't like a scene in Uncanny Avengers #5 that they should imbibe the aforementioned urine of train-dwelling vagabonds: 'Heads up- if Havok's position in UA #5 really upset you, it's time to drown yourself in hobo piss. Seriously, do it.
It's the only solution.' Noted that the last time Remender had wished for his audience to gulp down the body waste of railway transients had been one week earlier, when he: 'If I'm ever a bitter old man fixated on mainstream comic work of my youth I hope God does the right thing and drowns me in cold hobo urine.' What set off this roaring rampage of calls by Remender for members of his own audience to be sprayed in an unending procession of golden showers from locomotive-minded drifters? In this most recent case, it was a page of Uncanny Avengers where he wrote the X-character Havok stating his position on minorities: minorities shouldn't self-identify as minorities because they're all humans.(?)Of course, minority status, whether that's race or sex or whatever, usually isn't seen as a disjunctive quality by actual minorities, or at least shouldn't be. In other words, if you say you're black, Hispanic, some variety of gay, you really don't also have to add that you're a human being- the fact that you're talking and not masturbating over a pile of your own feces should usually clue the astute observer in on the fact that you're of the homo sapiens persuasion.
Race, sex, gender- these are additives: a person can only become human + X, Y, or Z; the human part, there's no subtracting. Denying that to me is punk shit, designed for basic bitches, but apparently, the punk band NOFX wrote a song which disagreed with that premise,.After his editors woke up, Remender later retracted these comments, deleted tweets, and that his tweets were caused by his anger at being called a racist by unidentified people on Twitter (none of which I've been able to locate—can you find them? They may have been private tweets. Maybe he was publicly tweeting at private tweets?). 'I meant the comment to be sort of goofy, but that's clearly not how it came across. None of these characters or their dilemmas should be read as metaphors for any real world position I personally take on anything.' Remender added, 'I think we all get to share ownership to the identification of being/feeling on the outside to varying degrees.'
Congratulations, minorities- you get to 'share ownership' of feeling like an outsider with Rick Remender. Ain't you lucky?So, no, none of Havok's idiotic opinions on minorities are shared by Rick Remender, except that if you question Havok's basic-bitch opinions on minorities, Rick Remender will screech about how you should drink hobo piss and then insist that you listen to punk rock music in order to learn serious sociopolitical lessons therefrom.But, you know. As a goof.The added: 'Positively or negatively, one thing that scene definitely did was spur a debate.
How intentional was that on your part? Which is to say, should Havok's position not necessarily be seen as the be-all and end-all on the subject, but rather one fictional character's take, which could very well be designed to be open to reader interpretation?' Well-played.So, classic comics: bomb jumped on by interviewer; comic fans blamed; tweets deleted; situation defused. If comic fans want to feel like comic creators want them to ingest piss, they'll just have to settle for reading Marvel Comics. And that's the story.Did you enjoy that story? Man, I sure did.I really like this story because as a cranky old crank, it's exactly how I want my interaction with mainstream comics to be. We live in this world filled with old things that large businesses are very intently trying to use to separate us from our meager savings and distract us from the filth they're making of the world. Hollywood is on track to lose $125 to $140 million dollars on a Jack & The Beanstalk movie. Made by Bryan Singer, a once promising storyteller who threw his talent away on diminishing-returns superhero stories- I've heard that one before!
A Jack & the fucking Beanstalk movie- they think we're cretins! Soon, the Star Wars movies come back, and we have to deal with Those Sad People again, or even worse, jokes about Those Sad People.And we pretend that working on these things isn't a political act. Why? How is there not a politics to it? Havok is an old character. Havok was created back before people were cool with minorities existing, basically- that only happened three-quarters of the way through Stevie Wonder's guest appearance on the second season of The Cosby Show. ' What about the time the Cosby Family lip-synched on the staircase?' , one might ask, to which I say, 'Get your own comic book column! How dare you?
How dare you? This is my chance to shine, you son of a bitch.' Remender denies responsibility, and relentlessly blames comic fans: at first the horrible fans misinterpreting his words, and then the horrible fans who spurred him to tweet in a way that was misunderstood.
That's just comic pro SOP. 'None of these characters mean anything!
Read all about them!' Comic fans didn't write that speech- comic fans are only for being pissed on. The blame goes to them, regardless. But at some point, doesn't working on old stories become a mandate for old ideas? Doesn't a culture obsessed with old characters invite old thinking? Mainstream comics storytelling is stagnant- they're back to shoving crossovers into bags again, and another Bob Harras regime is back to a creative team merry-go-round. Why would anyone reasonably expect any more thematic progress? 'Minorities, quit talking so much about being minorities' isn't any younger than 'mutants, feared by a world who fear their cowardly lot,' or however it goes.I just like all that. I like the idea that with on, every Marvel comic is really just filled with the word SUBMIT.
That makes comics way, way more fun to me. It's the world I want to live in; my hobo is the, and his piss I would gladly toast. So, yeah, I just really enjoyed this story.Now Nathan Bulmer:And now back to Tucker:I'm not sure when comics featuring talking food became a proving ground for our living cartoonists, but all the best ones seem to have a couple of 'banana fucks with apple' stories. Here's some more new comics.In the last minutes of the Avengers movie, the Thanos character showed up, revealing himself to an American movie-going public who couldn't be expected to identify him, regardless of the fact that he attained some internet notoriety a few years prior, when websites like The Hooded Utilitarian and iFanboy threw away their differences so as to best unite behind marveling at the image posted above, where Thanos is depicted as pilot of a small helicopter that says, whimsically, 'Thanos' on its tail boom. “So, no, none of Havok’s idiotic opinions on minorities are shared by Rick Remender, except that if you question Havok’s basic-bitch opinions on minorities, Rick Remender will screech about how you should drink hobo piss and then insist that you listen to punk rock music in order to learn serious sociopolitical lessons therefrom.”And retweet Morgan Freeman videos that echo directly Havok’s drain-gurgling. But no, it’s not a metaphor for real ideas, it’s just comics. Havok’s just a cool laser-fist man, not a mouthpiece. M-word rhymes with n-word but there’s no such thing as mutants, dummy.
To be totally fair, Annihilation was written by Keith Giffen while some of the spin-offs and almost all of the sequel stories were written by Abnett and Lanning.It may not be Moebius but Giffen is so much more experienced at writing space opera comics that it’s very easy to tell the difference between Giffen’s parts and the rest of it. Giffen is just a better writer, period, and the drop in quality is very noticeable.I think Abnett and Lanning followed up their sequel with a comic where the Ghostbusters(?) meet the Transformers(?) and that’s about their level. Minority status, whether that’s race or sex or whatever, usually isn’t seen as a disjunctive quality by actual minorities, or at least shouldn’t be.Minor quibble, I agree with the overall sentiment but the implication of the latter part is a little problematic. Minority status is experienced within a variety of different contexts and while certainly uncommon, it is quite conceivable that some (particularly those that have not experienced their ethnicity in terms of a community) may go about their lives with little to no conception of their minority status. I would hesitate to write off all such experiences as problematic.
Either I’m going to get splashed in the face with a comic book’s dumb politics or the internet is going to get all hoodies up over the comics dumb politics being the new Tracy Imus fawkin Morgan. This is the world Shane made his family drink poison to escape. He did it because of comics.If a famous person is going to have opinions they should do it on a secret twitter account. I mean this is personally how I feel, if I became a famous millionaire (sell comics to movies, they instantly give you a million dollars) I’m going to have my one public twitter and my one secret twitter. Public twitter is for bland PR approved self advertisement.
Private twitter will be some random mash of letters and numbers @d56fl9sjk, anime porn comic avatar, and I can just post all the trolling I want. Recent image section full of naked broads, onstantly retweeting ilikeassdaily and Ann Coulter and reply to her with bland cookie cutter yes man statements HM THAT IS INTERESTING I AGREE THANKS. Spam Colin Quinn’s twitter with Goodfellas references. That’s all twitter should be for.
Everything else is a mistake and a series of soon to be deleted tweets. Yeah, I agree with Callas here.“Minority status” is OFTEN seen as a disjunctive quality. And while it possibly “shouldn’t be” brought into so many debates, especially political ones (“You’re only for or against this law because of how it would affect black people!!!!!!!”), it is obviously frequently brought up, and specifically in order to lay out hypothetical Us vs. Them lines.I do agree with pretty much everything you say here, but it seems a false logic to suggest that “Of course people who bring up race are rightfully taking it for granted that we’re all human so therefore discussions about minority status aren’t really disjunctive.”The only other thing I’m wondering, pointlessly and somewhat facetiously, is whether actual scientists would say that mutants weren’t really “human” in the way normal homo sapiens are. The metaphor of mutants as minority races (or sexual persuasions) has always been just that: a metaphor.
Different races aren’t a separate species, but mutants in the Marvel universe ARE described as a different species (and during Matt Fraction’s run the “specist!” allegation was brought up). I don’t know how any of this might matter to anyone, but would calling a mutant “human” be, well, beneath them? Would it be like calling a human an “ape”?